Explaining Racism to a Kiddo? 3 Quick Nuggets of Advice from A Kids Co. Founder at Talk Starters Book Club
- Briesha Bell
- Jun 2
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 10
“What’s racism?”
When a kid hits you with that question, it can catch us grownups off guard— even the most mindful parent, teacher, babysitter, or auntie.
At Nugget’s first-ever Talk Starters Book Club with A Kids Co. founder, Jelani Memory, attendees explored how to open up conversations about race and racism with kiddos using A Kids Book About Racism as a guide. And don't worry, there were no lectures, just authentic, doable advice.
If you’ve ever felt unsure about where to begin, these three simple takeaways from the book’s author offer a clear and practical place to start.
✨ 3 Tips for Talking to Kids About Racism
Disclaimer: The following advice is taken directly from the transcript of the recorded book club titled, Talk Starters: A Kids Book About Racism. It is being shared with permission from the Nugget marketing team! Minor edits have been made for grammar and editorial brackets have been added to clarify, correct, or add context within a quote without changing the original speaker’s words. Video Timestamps indicate where the advice is shared within the video.
✨ Don’t Try to Wrap It All Up In One Conversation
🗣️ Jelani Memory | (Video Timestamp 8:16):
Here's my first bit of advice. The temptation for us grownups, when we're introducing a big topic to our kids, is to try and finish it all in one conversation.
When we have the birds and the bees conversation, we want to wrap that whole thing in a bow and never come back to it. And [we think], hopefully our 8-year-old, or 10-year-old, or 12-year-old, or whatever age they are, knows about sex forever, and we never have to talk about it again.
When the reality is, it should be the start of a conversation. When it comes to racism, my book is meant to introduce that topic and start that conversation. And once you start that conversation, something amazing can happen– it can keep going.
You can have that conversation again the next week. You can have a different conversation. You can revisit my book or another book, but you can keep that conversation going. And guess what? That conversation changes as your kids get older. It's a conversation starter, not a conversation ender. That's my first piece of advice.
✨Start With Where You’re At
🗣️ Jelani Memory | (Video Timestamp 12:25):
Some of you might be unsure of how to start this conversation and even worry:
• What if I read the book and my kid asks a question?
• Am I racist? Did I ever do something racist?
• Can kids be racist towards me? Has that ever happened?
• Has anybody ever been racist to you?
And you feel yourself flummoxed, you're unsure of what to say or how to answer?
Here's my next piece of advice: start with where you're at and where your kid's at in their understanding and their readiness to talk about this subject.
But you might not have fully investigated where you're at. And the reality is, you might not have started this conversation within your own family or life or friendships until you were a teenager or in college, or even as an adult with kids. Now, might even be the first time you're reflecting on conversations around racism.
Allow yourself to be at that first, second or third grade level. That's okay.
Don't wait until you go off and get your graduate degree in African American or racial studies to then finally have a conversation with your kids.
It's okay to start with where you're at.
✨Start Today
🗣️ Jelani Memory | (Video Timestamp 16:05):
Here's my last piece of advice and that’s to start today.
Now, I know that might sound scary, and your anxiety's peaking:
What do I say?
How do I say it?
When do I say it?
What if I say the wrong thing?
But open that door. And once that door’s open and you use the word “racism” with your kids, something interesting happens—they now have permission to use that word with you and back to you.
The thing about not starting this conversation is that our kids are very attuned to what’s okay to talk about and what’s not. They know if you never bring something up—even if they learned about it at school, from a friend, or from another book—that it makes you uncomfortable. And if they sense that, they’re unlikely to bring it up.
But if you bring it up and say, “I want to start this conversation, but I don’t know how. I’ve got this book coming in the mail. Do you want to dive into it when it gets here? Blah, blah, blah...”
Your kid might say, “Oh, we learned about that last month at school,” or, “I had an experience,” or, “I heard that word at school.”
And you might go, “Whoa, how come you never shared this with me?”
The reality is: there was never context. The door wasn’t open to start that conversation.
There has to be a conversation starter.
Don’t try to end the conversation the first time. Start with where you’re at.
It’s okay to not have all the answers—just start today.
Now, I know this isn’t exactly what folks were looking for—those specific, concrete responses [to questions] like:
• What if my kid says this?
•What if they heard that at school?
•What do I say about that?
But all I’m asking is that you open the door for these conversations to happen.
You will say the wrong thing.
It won’t be perfect. But keep learning alongside your kid.
If you are looking for more specific answers, be sure to check out the Q & A from the first book club!
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