Tell Me You Have a Toddler Without Telling Me You Have a Toddler

Briesha Bell
Jul 4
7 min read

A woman mixes pancake batter in a pink bowl while two toddlers move around her in a kitchen. One toddler clings to her leg and the other wears a blue dress and holds a colorful toy. Text overlay reads, “Tell Me You Have a Toddler Without Telling Me You Have a Toddler.” Website link reads, makemindfulmemories.com. — For the record, I do not have my own toddler, but I’ve cared for many over the years. #IYKYK

There are so many bizarre-o daily experiences that come with taking care of toddlers. Rather you’re a parent, nanny, or babysitter, I think you’ll find this list relatable and maybe even have a few “Lol, SAME” moments, enjoy!

🗣️ Toddler Talk Has Become Infused Into Your Daily Vocabulary

A plush gray otter toy holding a board book titled "Otter’s Heart Family" from Slumberkins, with a soft orange heart-shaped lovey nestled in its arms.

For some unknown reason, words ending in the letters "Y" and "IE" make up 45% of your vocabulary. From objects, people, animals, and emotional states, to adjectives.

Words/Phrases Ending in “y”

mommy, daddy, baby, happy, hungry, thirsty, sleepy, yummy, yucky, mushy, icky, sticky, slimy, itchy, scary, silly, smelly, messy, potty, doggy, kitty, busy, sippy (sippy cup), rainy, sunny, snowy, uppy (up), huggy (hug), tummy, belly, lovey (plush toy that little ones sleep with), Boppy, okey dokey, holey moley, ready, steady

Words/Phrases Ending in “ie”

blankie, pacie (pacifier), milkie (milk), fishie(s), ouchie(s), poopie(s), oopsie(s)

🧦 Socks with Grips Have Become an Essential Part of Your Wardrobe

Woman's feet show the bottom of two black non-slip socks, Bombas with grips.

It didn’t take long for you to discover the safety risk of walking around with a baby or chasing after a toddler in regular ol’ socks.

Non-slip socks level the playing field and are 100% the way to go. Assuming you’re as clumsy as me, you understand what a life-saver socks with grips are. Collectively, fellow wearers have probably prevented thousands of mini heart attacks and avoided countless injuries that are associated with carrying little ones up the stairs.

🥣 Sometimes You Eat in Secrecy

Bowl of Cheerios cereal featuring heart shaped pieces. Gold spoon in middle of bowl holds milk and a few pieces of cereal.

You’ve resorted to eating in secret out of fear of being asked to share your food or snack.

When I’m on my last box of limited edition heart shaped Cheerios or trying to scarf down a pack of Pirate’s Booty while no one is asking for anything, I literally sneak handfuls while the kids aren’t looking. We all do it.

But, sharing is caring! Yes, and sometimes you have to spend two minutes nourishing yourself with ~~junk~~ substance in order to keep up with the endless demands of “more noodles” and “I want dessert.”

🩹 You’ve Been Grossed Out By The Discovery of Used Bandages

Contents of a kitchen sink basket, including scraps of food and a used bandage. There's a red circle around the bandage with two red circles pointing towards it.

I reckon I’m not the only one that finds used bandages in gross places. I’m sure you’ve found one stuck to the bottom of your sock, in your bed sheets, clinging onto clean laundry, and maybe even the kitchen sink.

One time, after handwashing a pile of dishes that weren’t dishwasher safe, I dumped out the dish pan to discover a bloody bandage hidden by the bubbles and dishes.

🧺 Pouch Caps Show Up in the Most Random Places

Laundry bag with clean clothing and Piglet puppet. There's a blue circle around a pouch cap that was discovered in the laundry. A blue arrow points to the circle.

As you were beating yourself up for throwing away the cap to your little one’s favorite pouch flavor that you were certain they would slurp right down, you just so happen to find a spare cap! Where? The bottom of your bag, your back pocket, the cup holder in the car, the dining room table, or any other random place you wouldn’t expect to find one.

Recently, I found a pouch cap while folding clean laundry. Fyi, pouch caps don’t break the dryer or start a fire. With that said, I definitely don’t recommend you start using them as an alternative to dryer balls or anything… 😂

🧱 You Accumulate Daily Pocket Clutter

A hand holding a collection of random small objects, including a googly eye, green pom-pom, hair tie, small LEGO pieces, a broken crayon, and other tiny trinkets that accumulate in the pocket of caregivers daily.

Emptying your pockets at the end of the day results in finding random bits of kid related contents (tiny LEGO pieces; rubber bands; balloon pieces; caps of every type; toddler hair ties; a googly eye; a stray pom pom; dead batteries; pieces of lint- or God knows what- that you intercepted before your toddler could eat it; you name it).

🎵 Toddler Songs, Nursery Rhymes, and Musical Toys Are Constantly Stuck in Your Head

Baby propped up by a Boppy while sitting at a Fisher Price Kick & Play Piano Gym.

I bet you can still remember all the words to the Maybe song from the Fisher Price Kick & Play Piano Gym. You know, the "purple monkey in a bubblegum tree" song.

Admit it, the soundtrack to that play gym was 🔥

These days, your playlist featuring Let It Go, Baby Shark, and the Wheels On The Bus (for some reason) is set on repeat.

Every now and then, you sporadically burst out in a song from Ms. Rachel, The Laurie Berkner Band, or Raffi. That's just life with a toddler for ya!

💍 You’ve proudly rocked an item or accessory that a kid has made for you in public

A woman wearing a pipe cleaner necklace featuring bright and colorful wooden beads. The necklace was made for her by a toddler. She is wearing a black shirt and the top of her face is cut off, eyes and up.

Pasta noodle necklaces, beaded bracelets with seven random beads that don’t spell an actual word or your name, pipe cleaner beaded necklaces, perler bead keychains— it doesn't matter how terrible the accessory looks. Your kiddo made it for you, which makes it as invaluable as your wedding ring.

💡Activity Hack: When introducing beading to younger toddlers, try starting with pipe cleaners before moving to string or laces. This adjustment allows them to get solid fine motor practice in while building the skill and patience it takes to bead with string or lace.

🧩 You Own The Mega Popular Toddleroo Play Yard, Yet Only Step Over the Gate, Never Opening It

I’m a big fan of the Toddleroo play yard, it’s a really helpful tool for creating a “yes space” for younger toddlers! I also love that you can remove or add on pieces to meet the size of your space.

However, aside from a view Amazon comments, no one seems to talk about what a pain in the ass it is to open the play yard. Almost every grownup that owns this play yard sticks to stepping over the gate, no one dares to actually open it.

Toddleroo play yard displayed inside a home. Toddler toys are on the floor of the play area.

🏰 Storytime: One time, a parent I nannied for needed me to open the Toddleroo gate (she was post C-section). I cringed internally, anticipating the struggle.

And, struggle I did. My mom boss (MB) noticed and tried to explain how to do it. Of course, I already knew how to do it. The trouble is, the hinges are intentionally designed to be ~~adult~~-child-proof.

Anyway, I was determined to get it open for her, and I did... I also ended up wacking myself right in the face.

MB: ”Oh my gosh, are you okay?”

Me: [Pretending I was okay] “Oh yeah, sorry about that, I’m totally fine.”

MB: “Uh, I think you’re bleeding.”

Me: melts in embarrassment 🫠

✅ Lesson Learned: Opening this play yard is rarely worth the struggle, unless your legs are too short or you have a physical impairment. I’m only 5’3 and have to stand on my tippy toes to step over it, which I’d rather do any day than manually open it.

Be reassured in knowing that of the 5 families I work with that own this play yard, none of the adults (including myself) bother taking the time to open it. And remember, you’re not being lazy, you’re being efficient... and sparing your face an injury.

🛴 You’ve Faced Awkward Scooter Walks

A woman's leggings and sneakers are shown, along with a toddler's blue scooter that she is pushing along a path.

Sometimes toddlers get tired of riding their scooter or sometimes they're jazzed about their cool nature finds and want to carry them back home. Unfortunately, this leaves you awkwardly pushing or carrying their scooter along. As you know from experience, both methods are equal measures awkwarddd.

🤯 Potential Hack to Try:

Recently, I stumbled upon a potential solution to our collective scooter dilemma: Banwood Carry Straps! For some reason, I tend to work with kids that desert their scooters, rarely their bikes. However, Banwood's carry straps can conveniently be attached to scooters and small bikes. You'd just have to remember to bring it with you on strolls and have a place to store it, like a small backpack, fanny pack, or stroller if you have multiples.

🍎 You Find Half Eaten Apples Left Around the Kitchen

A woman's hand holding a partially eaten apple after a toddler took a few bites and didn't finish it. The apple is on a granite kitchen counter top beside a small orange squash.

Ah, the IG reels trend that inspired this post— toddlers deserting apples after only taking a few bites! This situation is always rather frustrating because you’re faced with the tough decision of what to do with the darn apple.

On the one hand, you don’t want to waste a perfectly good apple by throwing it in the trash.

At the same time, it'd be preposterous if you dare slice it up, since your kiddo has suddenly declared that they, “only eat apples the big kid way” and refuse to eat apple slices.

🫣 Confession: I’ve wrapped one of these apples in foil and placed it back in the fridge with the kid’s name on it. Unsure if the toddler actually ate it the next day though.

🧚🏽 You Find Stickers Everywhere

A close-up of a gray sock with a small fairy or angel sticker stuck to the bottom, worn by a woman standing on a grey vinyl planked floor.

Aside from the measly five stickers that somehow landed on a sheet of paper, they’re everywhere— the bottom of your socks, the kitchen floor, on your kid’s washed clothes (that now have sticker stains), and possibly your car windows.

Goo Gone is your friend.

🖼️ You’ve Had to Face the Artwork Storage Dilemma

A young toddler paints with watercolors at an art table that's covered with a protective piece of pink tag board. A grownup's stainless steel tumbler and book is also featured.

When a toddler first starts drawing stick figures and objects, everything they create looks like a masterpiece!

Then there comes a day when they begin drawing different versions of the same thing over and over (often a blob stick person). And in efforts to perfect their skills, they use a gazillion pieces of paper in the process.

Next thing you know, their "artwork" is taking up half your kitchen counter. There's no way you can sustain saving 10 pictures a day. Overwhelmed, you resort to doing what we all do— stuffing their "art" under contents of the recycling bin while they're asleep.

♻️ Disclaimer: Before you panic, I do ask parents if they want to save any of their kid's art before tossing it in the recycling!

🏘️ LEGOS and/or Magna-Tiles Are Everywhere

Who needs LEGOWORLD when it already takes up a significant sq. footage of your home. And your kiddos have so many magnetic tiles, you oughta start charging the neighborhood to visit their local Magnaland, featuring original new displays daily.

All jokes aside, there are a ton of valid reasons why LEGOS and magnetic tiles are so popular amongst kids and the grownups that spend a pretty penny on them. In fact, I think I'll do a blog post explaining what makes them such awesome toys for toddlers. Stay tuned for that!

I hope you find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. There are many challenges that come with both raising and taking care of toddlers. Despite having a little one clinging to your leg while you're preparing dinner, you wouldn't trade them or their oddities for the world! #TellMeYouHaveAToddler